MINNESOTA STATE FAIR UPDATE Aug 24,2008: Man Beaten to Death by Giant BEE

LOCAL BLUE EARTH, MN MAN BEATEN TO DEATH BY GIANT MUTANT BEE

Of all the occurrences at the Minnesota State Fair so far this year, today's mishap seems to be the strangest. Local Boy Band Member, Jimmy Grugergub of Blue Earth, Minnesota was apparently enjoying his day at the fair, when out of no where an over sized mutant bee came up behind him and beat him to death with a large club. "It was the weirdest thing" said local buffoon Terry Moynaugh. "This kid was having a good time playing grab ass with his friends, when all of a sudden there was this sound...it sounded like when you mash 7 or 8 pink pencil erasers into your dad's electric pencil sharpener. Then this HUGE ASS Bee showed up with a club and started whacking the hell out of this kid! Christ, it was funny! I really wet myself!"

Jimmy tried defending himself against the bee, but was severely hindered when two of his "friends" pulled his pants down, kicked his knees out from under him and poured their rootbeer floats all over him. "It must have really angered the bee, because he just kept hitting that kid repeatedly like a pimp on skank-ass whore!" With what little strength Grugergub had remaining, he crawled towards the Christian Dining Hall for refuge, but was met by a local gathering of "The Southern Baptist Dikes for the preservation of freakishly large insects and barbed wire" whose leader started screaming in tongues and flailing wildly, occasionally taking the time to kick Grugergub repeatedly in the face as he lay on the hot asphalt.

St.Paul native Jon Rask said"I was going to help him out as soon as I finished my project, which turned out to be an empty attempt of aid as Jon's project was standing beside the "Ye Old Mill" attraction, peeing into a cup and asking passerbys to sample his new drink.

State fair police arrived relatively quickly and forced the bee away from Grugergub, however it was far to late to save the pathetic man. "We figured the best thing to do now, was drag him into the sun, coat him with miracle whip and other condiments and let him spoil like a bowl of potato salad. " stated officer Pklyndgfjkhlk.

Within a few moments, Grugerubs friends located him, carried him to the "Kamikaze" Bungee launch, placed their dead friend into the seat and had the carnie rocket his corpse into space, after which they all gathered in a circle did a massive group headbutt, and fell unconscious into the street. The State fair police arrived soon after and dragged them into the sun.

See what you missed at the fair today!