SMALL ASIAN BOY SPUN INTO COCOON AT FAIR, PERISHES!
Little Ming Tong Fugoo trapped inside glass
Little Ming Tong Fugoo trapped inside glassCocoon Machine moments before Death
In a horrible, although not all that surprising, occurrence at the Fair today, A small boy Ming Tong Fugoo (9) of Tracey, Minnesota was spun into a toxic Cocoon and suffocated as an experiment in front of the education building went horribly wrong. Dr. Gershwin Von Futupmyass, was demonstrating his new silk cocoon web spinning device and asked the crowd for a volunteer. "This little Chinese Kid will be ya' volunteer!" shouted a man clad in a white smock and pillowcased head, shoving little Ming Tong Fugoo to the exhibition platform. "He jus' tol me his ancestors Loved silk and anything to do with flies!" With that the man threw Fugoo onto the stage and into the glass observation chamber. Dr. Futupmyass replied"Ain't nut'in Ah Like mo' than a willin' Voluntee'ah", and slammed the case door shut and drooled over the front of his own shirt. "Ah shall now demonstrate, how My new Cocoon machine will benefit all a' man-kine' YeeeHaw!" With that Futupmyass pressed some buttons on a control panel and the machine started rocking violently and spraying soft silk throughout the chamber. Little Ming started squealing like a pig and racing around the enclosure, banging on the glass and pleading for help, however the amazed on-lookers wanted to see the machine complete it's work and therefore did nothing. Within seconds the machine had spun enough webbing to secure Fugoo into place in the case and started wrapping him up from the feet up. Futupmyass, watching with glee started laughing and drooling uncontrollably and within moments started spitting up blood and rolled off the stage. "He's having a heart attack!" screamed Joyce Papinski of Fridley, Minnesota. Quickly two roving youths broke through the crowd hollering let us through, let us through, reached Futupmyass, and began kicking him in the head and chest, while singing "What a friend we have in Jesus". Meanwhile, little Ming was covered in webbing and locked firmly into place. A man in the crowd yelled "Hey, I think that kid is going to be killed, somebody should help him!" at which the crowd all laughed in unison at the man and proceeded to beat him to death with food chairs , strollers and brightly colored yard sticks. In what apparently was Ming's only choice he started eating the webbing furiously to try to free himself, but it was coming far to quickly and before long covered Little Ming's head. With no one there to stop the machine, Ming's death cocoon began growing larger and larger until it exploded from the glass case and rolled free into the onlookers, showering the crowd in broken glass shards and killing 5 people instantly. "It was so cool! retorted a local meth-head before wetting himself and passing out in his own filth.
The cocoon rolled freely from the education, towards the midway following Cosgrove avenue through the food building and onto Carnes Avenue. "If it were not for the Dapper Dung Beetles of Dartmouth, Minnesota the occurrence may have been rather dire" said Fair Spokesperson Amanda Kikarown.
As the encased boys corpse rolled into the midway, the Dapper Dung Beetles of Dartmouth, (a local club of crippled entomologists and freaks who gain thrills by dressing and acting like dung beetles), started kicking the ball of web from one to another while making clicking sounds with their tongues and rolling their fists together. within moments the beetles kicked the ball free of the midway, through the horse barn and onto Judson avenue where they were met by the Minnesota state fair Fire department and set on fire. "Burn 'em Up Boys! cried Captain Deedles of Pine City, Minnesota and 4 firemen let loose with home made flame throwers manufactured of garbage cans wrapped with duct tape, filled with gasoline firing out of a garden hose. "Don't cross the streams! Don't cross the streams! cried one of the firefighters just moments before erupting into flames, causing a chain reaction resulting in all of the remaining firefighters to combust along with the dung beetles and web ball into a blazing inferno in the middle of Como Avenue. Yee Haw! My dinner has arrived!” cried a homeless cretin begging for money on the street and raced into the blaze, also being incinerated immeadiatly.
The Saint Paul fire department arrived moments later and decided that the flaming mass of goo was left best left alone, so they placed a barricade around it and routed traffic from Como avenue, through the KTCA studios parking lot and into the train yard where many were struck by trains and left for dead.
When asked to Respond about the incident, and the decision of the Saint Paul fire Department to re-route traffic in such a senseless manner, Saint Paul Mayor Chris Coleman replied "Where can I get me one of those Dung Beetle suits?"
See what you missed at the fair today!
The cocoon rolled freely from the education, towards the midway following Cosgrove avenue through the food building and onto Carnes Avenue. "If it were not for the Dapper Dung Beetles of Dartmouth, Minnesota the occurrence may have been rather dire" said Fair Spokesperson Amanda Kikarown.
As the encased boys corpse rolled into the midway, the Dapper Dung Beetles of Dartmouth, (a local club of crippled entomologists and freaks who gain thrills by dressing and acting like dung beetles), started kicking the ball of web from one to another while making clicking sounds with their tongues and rolling their fists together. within moments the beetles kicked the ball free of the midway, through the horse barn and onto Judson avenue where they were met by the Minnesota state fair Fire department and set on fire. "Burn 'em Up Boys! cried Captain Deedles of Pine City, Minnesota and 4 firemen let loose with home made flame throwers manufactured of garbage cans wrapped with duct tape, filled with gasoline firing out of a garden hose. "Don't cross the streams! Don't cross the streams! cried one of the firefighters just moments before erupting into flames, causing a chain reaction resulting in all of the remaining firefighters to combust along with the dung beetles and web ball into a blazing inferno in the middle of Como Avenue. Yee Haw! My dinner has arrived!” cried a homeless cretin begging for money on the street and raced into the blaze, also being incinerated immeadiatly.
The Saint Paul fire department arrived moments later and decided that the flaming mass of goo was left best left alone, so they placed a barricade around it and routed traffic from Como avenue, through the KTCA studios parking lot and into the train yard where many were struck by trains and left for dead.
When asked to Respond about the incident, and the decision of the Saint Paul fire Department to re-route traffic in such a senseless manner, Saint Paul Mayor Chris Coleman replied "Where can I get me one of those Dung Beetle suits?"
See what you missed at the fair today!
Little Ming goes down for the last time before being smothered by silk
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