Wayward Band Screams "State Fair or Bust!"

After nearly one year of being Absent from the hallowed grounds of the Minnesota state fair, The "Pig's Eye Jass Band" has started their harrowing trip across the state in order to arrive in time for the first parade on Opening Day of the Minnesota State Fair. "De Fair Dudn't Open For A few Weeks Ya' Know; and we t'ink 'dis will give us a plenty time to git d'ere for da' firs' parade" reported "Big" Wally Rothschild, of Hackensack, Minnesota. The band whos has been performing at various functions around the state since 1961, has decided that the fair needs their presence in order to keep that wholesome Minnesota attitude in place. "I t'ink dis place has turned into a Cesspoole of disgrace and carnage over de past few years...an' I plan to show 'da folks what a real fair is suppose to provide!" said Rothschild.

The band, who derived their name from both their occupation as a band of social miscreants, and their unhealthy worship of Mel Jass formerly of "Mel's Matinee" on WTCN 11, plans to commute in their hand crafted stage wagon from Hackensac to the Twin cities over the next few weeks. "We got it all fig'red out, spoke Ida Kissamyass, of nearby Walker, Minnesota. "We will have 'da boys pullin da wagon tr'u da back roads and drainage ditches, as well as posted property and land so dat we can arrive in time for da fair. We have mounted a special hose on da front a da cart so dat if any of us starts fallin' asleep, we can spray dem with a supply of goat urine dat we have in da tanks near da back o da cart."

If we calculated properly, we should arrive in Falcon Heights on September 12th,2009. If we find we are running slow, we'll just start sprayin' da hose at each other until we make up the time, said Rothschild.

We are all wishing the band a great deal of luck on their journey, but figure that there will be quite a few dehydrated goats along the way; being that the fair ends on September 7 this year. We could have told them that they will have to adjust their schedule for their lack of planning correctly...but what fun would that be???