Tommy Horton of Osakis, Minnesota Moments before rampageTragedy struck on Day #2 of the Minnesota State Fair when a small child identified as Tommy Horton of Osakis, Minnesota went berserk and killed 3 children on the "Dilly-Dally Bumper cars" attraction in Kiddieland. It wasn't quite clear what actually happened or why, but according to a passerby who wished to remain anonymous (Lilly Popkiss of Apple Valley, MN) reported "I saw this strange little figure out of the corner of my eye leap from a tree and right onto the bumper car attraction...I just dismissed it, because I see all sorts of weird things when I am off my meds." Then she proceeded to to vomit up on herself and pass-out. State Fair Police were called to the scene where they sprayed Popkiss down with a hose and drug her off and left her in the sun to dry.
From what we have been able to piece together. Little Tommy Horton had come to the fair with the "Children of the Apocalypse" church , and somehow broke free of the group. "I saw 'dis kid over at 'da soda shack der, and he was drinking mo' Moun'in dew 'dan a dehydrated jackass!" said a local street transient living underneath the grandstand. "He done juiced himself up an' had 'dis scarey look in his eye! I scream'd DEVIL CHIL' DEVIL CHIL'!, and 'den I passed out!"
Moments later, Tommy started running aimlessly through the fairgrounds and stumbled into a souvenir stand selling cheap Chinese toys and fair garbage, and he stole a plastic samurai sword. While trying to escape, the vendor threw scolding coffee in Tommy's face causing him to scream "You Motherf***ing WHORE!" and fell face down in a puddle of mud. His face severely burned, Tommy grabbed a box of crayons from some nearby children and drew a cheesey moustache and eyebrows on his now red blistered face. He then ran off in the direction of "Kiddieland". He was next seen chattering like a squirrel in a tree, swinging his plastic sword, which drew the attention of some local teenage tuffs that were passing by. The teenagers picked up rocks and sticks and pelted Tommy with them until he fell from the tree onto the Dilly Dally Bumper cars which was presently in operation. Little Gertrude Hoffmister and her sister Helga (both from New Ulm), saw Tommy, and screamed as they ran over his legs, cutting them free of his pelvis, and leaving them on the steel attraction floor flopping like daddy long legs. Tommy swung his plastic sword and poked out the eye of a small nameless Canadian boy, who lost control of his bumper car and crashed it through the side rail and rolled it into the bystanders, crushing him instantly. Two bystanders were hurt, and quickly drug into the sun by Fair Police. Scrabbling across the steel floor, Tommy grabbed onto a moving bumper car and was drug all over the attraction, spraying blood from his leg stumps as he went. "It was like one o' those Spin Art Machines, down in the real midway" said Jackaroon Katrufkin, of Saint Paul. As little Tommy started to weaken from loss of blood his grip failed, and sent him hurling into the car of little Reginald Van Scrote, who screamed like a little girl and died of coronary failure moments before crashing head on into the operating kiosk of the attraction, causing the whole attraction to start ablaze. The canopy of the ride immediately caught fire and began to descend upon all of the trapped children. A large Tibetan Monk leaped from the crowd and with lightening speed tore through the blazing canopy of death and freed most all of the children, little Tommy Horton was left to die in his bumper coffin of doom. As Tommy burst into flame in front of the stunned crowd he screamed "...ask not for whoeth the bell tolls, it tolls for.." and he then exploded into flames. The intense heat of the blazing attraction forced the crowd to retreat, with the exception of a small Asian boy with a limp who was drawn like a moth to a flame, and screamed "Willie O'Dwyer, Jumped in the fire!..." and raced into the flaming wreckage, and was consumed by the raging flames.
Within 55 minutes, the Minnesota State fair Fire Department arrived, from 2 blocks away, and extinguished the embers that had once been the Dilly Dally Bumper Cars. When asked why it took so long for the fire department to arrive , Fire Chief Norm Tournquist replied "KISS MINE!"
See what you missed at the fair today!
From what we have been able to piece together. Little Tommy Horton had come to the fair with the "Children of the Apocalypse" church , and somehow broke free of the group. "I saw 'dis kid over at 'da soda shack der, and he was drinking mo' Moun'in dew 'dan a dehydrated jackass!" said a local street transient living underneath the grandstand. "He done juiced himself up an' had 'dis scarey look in his eye! I scream'd DEVIL CHIL' DEVIL CHIL'!, and 'den I passed out!"
Moments later, Tommy started running aimlessly through the fairgrounds and stumbled into a souvenir stand selling cheap Chinese toys and fair garbage, and he stole a plastic samurai sword. While trying to escape, the vendor threw scolding coffee in Tommy's face causing him to scream "You Motherf***ing WHORE!" and fell face down in a puddle of mud. His face severely burned, Tommy grabbed a box of crayons from some nearby children and drew a cheesey moustache and eyebrows on his now red blistered face. He then ran off in the direction of "Kiddieland". He was next seen chattering like a squirrel in a tree, swinging his plastic sword, which drew the attention of some local teenage tuffs that were passing by. The teenagers picked up rocks and sticks and pelted Tommy with them until he fell from the tree onto the Dilly Dally Bumper cars which was presently in operation. Little Gertrude Hoffmister and her sister Helga (both from New Ulm), saw Tommy, and screamed as they ran over his legs, cutting them free of his pelvis, and leaving them on the steel attraction floor flopping like daddy long legs. Tommy swung his plastic sword and poked out the eye of a small nameless Canadian boy, who lost control of his bumper car and crashed it through the side rail and rolled it into the bystanders, crushing him instantly. Two bystanders were hurt, and quickly drug into the sun by Fair Police. Scrabbling across the steel floor, Tommy grabbed onto a moving bumper car and was drug all over the attraction, spraying blood from his leg stumps as he went. "It was like one o' those Spin Art Machines, down in the real midway" said Jackaroon Katrufkin, of Saint Paul. As little Tommy started to weaken from loss of blood his grip failed, and sent him hurling into the car of little Reginald Van Scrote, who screamed like a little girl and died of coronary failure moments before crashing head on into the operating kiosk of the attraction, causing the whole attraction to start ablaze. The canopy of the ride immediately caught fire and began to descend upon all of the trapped children. A large Tibetan Monk leaped from the crowd and with lightening speed tore through the blazing canopy of death and freed most all of the children, little Tommy Horton was left to die in his bumper coffin of doom. As Tommy burst into flame in front of the stunned crowd he screamed "...ask not for whoeth the bell tolls, it tolls for.." and he then exploded into flames. The intense heat of the blazing attraction forced the crowd to retreat, with the exception of a small Asian boy with a limp who was drawn like a moth to a flame, and screamed "Willie O'Dwyer, Jumped in the fire!..." and raced into the flaming wreckage, and was consumed by the raging flames.
Within 55 minutes, the Minnesota State fair Fire Department arrived, from 2 blocks away, and extinguished the embers that had once been the Dilly Dally Bumper Cars. When asked why it took so long for the fire department to arrive , Fire Chief Norm Tournquist replied "KISS MINE!"
See what you missed at the fair today!
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